Image in Dirty Water By Paul Speaks.



IMAGE  IN  DIRTY  WATER



Ignorant of everything around me, I was born like every child

without a past.

I loved and laughed at everything I saw, I was so good at one thing,

"asking questions" while growing up.

I picked the bad things like habits and they hurt me, I was attracted to the good things and too much of them were  dangerous, what exactly was meant for me,one thing I can hold on to, I had started building a past and experience I never had, things were rossy from the start,I got all I wanted and ate all i wished for like the whole world was made for me.

Alas!




Tear's dropped my very eye, (don't cry) I whispered to myself pls don't cry the world was still made for you but in what instance? it's like saying I was going to remain a kid.

Every little thing had it's part in me, I already had bad, not too
good and weird experiences, I wasn't as good as who I wanted to be.
Do I even know what I really wanna be or who I am?

I had been shaped and built by my past experiences, my life has been constructed by the things I saw around and people I lived with, I never saw beyond my jurisdictions and it wasn't clearly my fault.

Even when I look at the reflection of myself I still see nobody, not like I don't appear in my thought but I appeared without a meaning, confused and put in the middle of several things to choose from.

I stood in front of my so large mirror in the morning and night and yet I see the same image, I was seeking for a change but how do I see what is different from what is in front of the mirror.

My mirror couldn't help see who I wanted to see, friends couldn't

cos they joked at every possible thing I do, my parents were

ignorantly worsening situation with pride.

They would enlarge and define my confused self, I was celebrated few times when I did something beyond their imaginations but yet they celebrated my actions not me cos I have just done things to appeal to the environment.

I was stuck and lost!

Don't you get it, everyone was somehow happy and I was also but

on the surface,my happiness would even make you happy just so

you leave me to my confused self.

I wasn't looking bad,I was handsome to a point if you understand

but what has that got me?

A life that wasn't attached to a meaning, everything probably had a

definition but I had none, yes I wasn't a word or something but
significant and relevance wasn't for me.

Hey! (read this like I would read it)

I.......... Was...... Ready........  To........ Seek...... For.......

My........ Definition.

I sourced for a definition that was linked to significance and values.



I went back to my big mirror and all i still saw was myself.

Myself and that's all have been seeing,and so I asked myself, what else do you wanna see?

All i wanted is what I was blindly seeing.

There was a reflection of me in dirty waters, I was standing just in front of pot hole filled with water I always felt was too dirty and of no use, I just always passed by and undermined it's usefulness because it was obviously dirty and of no use but yet I saw my not too handsome self in it.

I just got what I was looking for, for so long, I rushed back to my

large mirror, and guess what, I was seeing me, yes me, like I was

supposed to see.

I saw me beyond the mirror in front of me, I saw myself in dirty

waters, so differently.

I have never seen myself so differently, I judged myself with all i had been through and who I had been shaped to be when that wasn't

exactly who I am, the mirror reflected what I wanted because I wasn't just looking at the mirror, I was looking at me not the mirror.

I have always focused on the mirror not who was been shown in it.

Dirty waters reflected my image, then I wasn't all that bad, I had a whole lot to know about the new person I saw in the mirror.

I was me already, and yes I lived every bit of myself without

repentance cos I found my true image through dirty waters.

The water wasn't dirty, I was only mistaken, the dirty water wasn't still the point but the fact that I saw myself differently.

The water was clean in it's own way and here I am good in my

own way, I no longer needed anyone's definition about me.

I can be who I really want to be looking at me beyond the me I see in the mirror because the mirror isn't my focus.

I am the focus.




House of Reguard shot this.Mr_Reguard

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Tree of Inspiration By Babatunde Paul

I was walking through a walkway in my school, the walkway, in the middle of a thick forest by the right and another by the leftsureng the only one on the walkway I looked around and all I could see was thick,big long and strong trees then I stopped and said in me, what a sense of unity they all stood upright like  trinity and I kept on wondering, no one waters them, no one feeds them with manure and the rest so that they can grow,they experience heavy rainfall and very hot sunshine and yet they stand like they're gonna make it to the end, they survive any kind of weather and still stand strong and upright together, I hardly see a space in between the trees,they were so full of themselves like tomorrow is sure,they all were deeply rooted in their source because they knew they had no choice .one was bent and about falling but yet another was  beside it ready to help. Then I stood again and looked @ myself and thought of my friends, checked out other and the whole human race, we...
Read more

THE REAL ME : SEYI MABEWEJE

Image
Another  writer with a difference : I'm just a lady full of life and hope, I'm living my life the best I can. The real me is shy but never afraid to speak her mind Sometimes i think nobody would understand me..but in the end it all seems different Sometimes I'm happy Sometimes I'm the smart lady Sometimes I'm overwhelmed Sometimes I'm angry Sometimes I'm Upset Sometimes I'm flustered Sometimes, i just wanna let the world see how positive life can be I like to explore new people cos it makes me know more about life I never judge a book by its cover  No reason to worry about my past cos its all part of growing up No reason to worry about my future cos i know it's gonna be bright It is the here and now To bear the light in my soul so bright I got to keep it strong When I get burnt I need ice And this is my device It heals Its my window into a world that as i will it i make it In my fantasy, is the love I need Its healing powers a...
Read more

I'M GONNA GET THERE :DEMI BABATUNDE.

Image
This is so simple and comprehensive from a Great writer: “I’m gonna get there” “I’m gonna get there!” She said. World tumbling, knees shaking, heart beating louder than a drum. “I’m gonna get there.” As human being, we try to control everything in our circumstances because we are under this illusion that we have control. Control, choice, two different words. You can choose to wear red over blue one day but you can’t control the course of that day. Recognition; the ability to realize that you are not in control. Freedom; the sensation, a feeling, an emotion that is felt when you let God take full control. God will take you there! One of the hardest things for us as human beings to do is to fully put our trust in God. However, this is the God that created Heaven and Earth. A God that angels, of majestic strength and power, bow down to and worship. This is a God that moves mountains, c...
Read more